bon fire night

was last night. The day actually started off with me doing the laundry, which is a good thing because it has been a while it was time! While I was waiting I decided to take a little walk around the hood and was greeted by a nice old homeless looking man on a wheel chair in his mid 50's who was missing most of his front teeth so it was hard to decipher what exactly he was saying to me. But I did makes out "It's nice weather out isn't it?" Except it sounded as if you have your whole fist inside your mouth and you are trying to talk. Then he asked me to dinner and introduced himself as Gator, kind of like my school mascot. Poor guy, should have invited him to the amazing BBQ which was held at V's house last night. Best fucking steak I ever had, and whoooo marinated it?? Yeah, me. Great great great food, corn on the cobb, and nice light drinks that made me very happy. We then got all our shtuff together and headed for the beach for the planned bon fire. It was first just about 5 or 6 of us but when my friend Luis told me he is bringing a couple of friends, I didn't realize that his whole dorm crew was coming. I don't think he knew either. So there we were, holding on for dear life to our sticks and marshmallows overcrowded by the large group of 18-19 year olds, all art students. Turns out that there are regulars that go to these bon fire things every single night. Like this one guy Goat that we met who comes to Ocean Beach almost every night. He told us that next October all of San Francisco will be covered by a humangous tidal wave. He also sold necklaces that predict your dreams... or something like that. He was a creep and Karen put him in his place about recycling his stupid beer can. Long story short, the kids stole our marshmallows and we ended up leaving once the crowd thinned out and it was around 2am. Interesting night, really typical of SF. The people and everything.

yesterday came suddenly

and i am sitting once again in my room listening to the Beatles this time. Thinking of the good times. Just the good times. Why think of the bad times? This summer has been unlike any other summer, and its not over yet. But its very chill. I don't remember a summer when I wasn't away working at camp or on vacation to Italy or at my grandparents killing time. Yes this summer I also spent in Europe, part of it. But it was different. It was with the chicas. And now all I have is my room, my fabulous room that is, Gordos Taqueria around the corner, and Mono Cafe up the street, where I do my coffee shopping of course. I also have my local bus driver who tried to hit on me yesterday and even gave me an extended time on my bus recite. How sweet. I also have the old Russian grandmas and grandpas walking on Geary and the old Chinese grandmas and grandpas on Clement. They give me negative and shameful looks, but I dodge them with my thick glasses and my indifferent and casual demeanor. Yes I have demeanor now! I found myself not caring about a lot of things. But this only came upon me yesterday when I actually looked at myself in the mirror, like really looked and had a hard time recognizing the bohemian face looking back at me. Something was missing, a piercing of some sort, a tattoo maybe, but it wasn't me, like the me that I know on the inside and that image of myself gave me a strong feeling. If the real me that I know is not the me that people see when they look at me then what is the point in being shy or put up a guard or to look away when I get disdainful and sloppy animal looks from strangers? It's not me they are seeing, but just a front. And that is what I decided to become. They may see what they would like but only I know the me that is me. I think.

current mood

my friends are such nerds

don't get offended guys. but it is common belief that one's friends are in some ways, more than others, similar to you and well... I will admit it, I am a big nerd. So it is only safe to assume that my friends are nerds just as well. Some are nerdier than others and you all of course know who you are. So here it goes you nerds:

• Now who the hell goes to calculus camp, and thinks its fun and cool? Yeah you!
• Staying home, watching a war move and a bottle of wine. And you think that is fun?
• Always, always undermine my opinion and in the end of course I am right. Shame shame.
• You had a pager when you were 15, and you thought you were so cool. But I remember I really wanted one and kept begging my mom for one but she wouldn't let me have one and now I am a bit thankful for that because looking back, those things were a bit tacky ad you looked funny with it.
• You hid people in your basement to secretly smoke, drink, or have sex when you were in high school, and I'm sure you still do if you ever get the chance.
• You give your clothes to the dry cleaners just to get them ironed? That is just wrong. And nerdy!
• You don't wear glasses, 1 un-nerdy thing about you.
• Shop at Abercrombie and Finch.
  
• Bust some moves on the dance floor. (In a Saturday Night Fever type of way)
  
• Apparently cannot hold your liquor.
• You HAVE to have a cute little Asian girl do your hair or else its just not good enough. SHE probably thinks you're a big nerd.
  
• You actually enjoy having philosophical conversations about life, the universe, and everything with much enthusiasm and zeal. As opposed to the rest of us who do it just to either a) not feel like the only loser at the party b) fuck with people and bring them to tears of rage or c) try to get some.
• Questions such as: What are black holes? What does E=mc² mean? How did the Universe begin? How will it end? How is the twin paradox resolved?
  Probably all give you a boner.
• You have been wickedly manipulated to listen to music by Dave Mathews, Ben Harper, Ani DiFranco, and Damien Rice, to name just a few.
• You always somehow turn every conversation to something on the subject of either math, science, or politics.
• You always turn weird and awkward moments into even more weird and more awkward moments. Good going.
• You buy into convention. And think that you are original. Pshhhht.
• You really know how to put people on the spot.
• Oh and thanks for doing my homework in High School, and in College... and hopefully Grad School?? Please?
  

These are just a few, and if you fit into any one of those categories then you are truly my friend and if you fit into ALL of those categories than you are truly my friend and truly a nerd.

chocolate bars and mood swings

yes, that has been my life for the past couple of weeks. but even chocolate and moodiness can bring good times. tried surfing one more time. key word: tried. it took me an hour before i gave up and sat my grumpy self on the sand watching the others brave the waves. it wasn't a good day to learn, the waves were big and little me couldn't get past all the white water. my turning point was when i gulped a mouthful of salt water as a humangous wave crashed right on me, sending my board flying. still won't give up. afterwards went to cheesecake. although we had to wait for 2 hours for our table, the chicken madeira was all worth it in the end. good times, good company, and good wine. yesturday v and i were on our way to the hardware store to get bolts for my futon to raise it on its feet and on our way we spotted a nice ass futon frame that someone just put outside for grabs so we decided to just take it and replace it with the one i had. 2 hours later and alot of sweat, blood, and energy was all thrown away for a frame that didnt work for me. so we had to dissasemble it, load it back up, and place it back where we got it inconspicuously. oh man. tomorrow sex test.
currently reading: nothing, but planning George Orwell. suggestions accepted.

finding the "right one" is like finding a spot in a parking lot

Or so my sex and relationships professor tells us. This is basically how this works:
You get to the parking lot with the perfect Golden Spot in mind. Now this Golden Spot is perfectly positioned right in front of the store, and it is not the handicapped spot, but the perfect non handicapped spot that is easily accessible and right in front of your destination. This is all in your head of course. As you drive through the lot you notice a few empty spots here and there, some a bit too tight, a bit too far, a bit too something. You still have the Golden Spot shining in your head and as you approach it its getting less Golden. The Golden Spot is taken! With a bit of a panic you bust a bitch, cut off some old man, and incautiously proceed back to the other spots that were not the best choice yet would still suit you. As you pass the spots which you initially stored in the back of your head some of them are already taken up! More panic. You finally squeeze into a nice little spot which was far from the Golden Spot yet it was still a spot in the vicinity of your store. Or how should I say this, you settled! Now you hike your way back to where the store is and there you see the Golden Spot yet again, in its perfect location, with minimal walking or moving around or exercising and its just so perfect. And its empty! REGRET REGRET REGRET. Why haven't you just waited!? Relationships in a nut shell. Sigh.

Calabunga dude, I'm stoked on those high primo tubes

V took me surfing yesterday. We set out to Pacifica (about a 10 min ride) to catch some waves. 10 minutes away from SF and 10 degrees warmer. I will never understand the climate here. So here's the scoop:

Surfing is fucking hard. Yes. Hard. I know I have not tried that many sports but its not like you can just pretend like you know what you're doing like say... in snowboarding. You really gotta know your shit. I surprisingly fit into one of V's wet suits (those things are hot) and plunged into the 60 degree water. It didn't take long to realize just how weak I am and how I am in dire need of exercising, but that is besides the point. So it was little me and 8 ft. long board. We had a great time together, me and the board and wrestled for a while until I safely positioned it on my head when holding it in my arm just wouldn't do it. So it was me and the board, and V and O attempting to give me advice and at the same time dodging 5 foot waves. So what you gotta do in surfing is make sure you've got humangous arms with humangous muscle and use them. You gotta peddle yourself on the gigantic board waaaaay past all the white water and then sit and wait to catch a wave. To my surprise I found the experience to be life threatening (Pauline don't roll your eyes) but I liked it!!! Sometimes you're peddling out not realizing how far you've come out into the water and sometimes you just get stuck in one spot and constantly get hit by waves. I did not catch a wave but I did get pushed on top of one and rode it all the way to shore lying down on the board. Why haven't I done this before? It was soooo much fun, although very frustrating and difficult because it is oh so hard to just peddle your way out there. So my surfing adventure came to an end when I was out there, in the open water, silence... nobody around me and I wonder what happened to everyone and how come I am so far out and where the hell is V and O when I see something floating in the water. Have you all seen that movie Open Water? I have not, but I saw the commercial and that's how I felt and there it was, a great white. I battled it with my own two hands and surprisingly came out alive and managed to save the board. Actually that's not how it happened... I wasn't paying attention and this wave hit my board and hit me right in the throat at which point I couldn't breath and saw a big white light. I'm doing alright though, just hurts to swallow still and my voice is way deep now. Going surfing again soon!

More to come on: The saga of Harry Potter and the fight to get in line FIRST!

sitting in my room

listening to Joni Mitchell and looking in retrospect at all the events that have been going on in my life in the near past and how my life has been taking twisted turns when least expected. But I guess if those turns were expected they would not be so twisted. Or would they? I used to be a sheep and follow people, trends, cliche's. But now I think I am my own and make my own rules. I walk around with a Star Wars T shirt, just because its cool to do that in my little world. I have big round sun glasses that protect half the diameter of my face from not only the sun but from debris, strangers, and unwanted looks. I am still so introverted, but in an extroverted way... if that makes any sense. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just beginning to compose myself and my personality. I am picking up the pieces and rearranging them to fit Vica. I don't think I would be thinking like this if I hadn't moved here and pushed myself to put myself in the world I so dread... THE OTHER SIDE which consists of strangers, unfamiliar faces, roommates, dirty toilet seats, professors, public transportation, no car!, small talk, no food, money, lack of money, being forced to talk with people, "make" friends, fog. But I don't think i can survive without any of these things anymore. Once I leave here I will be thrown back into the other OTHER SIDE but at least I will have a little more knowledge and experience of what I'll be up against. Oh Joni you make me so weak.

evening at the beach...

beautiful beach... only 15 min walk away from our lovely home




Michael working on a master piece

my master piece

my new family: Vanessa, Michael, and Alyssa

sex and relationships

is the class I am taking this summer. Today, the first day fo class I have learned that I have been looking for sex and/or relationships in all the wrong places and ways. First of all, to find romance one must have a prop, for example a pet dog. This is to attract attention. Second one must wear clothing with some kind of logo of a sports team or a school name. This is once again, to attract more attention and hopefully start up some conversation. If I was smart, I'd be walking around with a Harvard t-shirt going to all the dog parks near by. We are just learning about how to initiate a relationship and later move on to all the good stuff. But hey did ya'll know that 2/3 of romances in the work place are kept secret? And 1/3 of those people are married to someone else? Sad sad.

armed and ready

Last night I met up with my old coworker/friend Luis from back home who moved up here last month. Since I was being lazy and have already set forth on a wonderful journey to downtown as stated in the previouse post, I conned him into getting his ass all the way to my place in Inner Richmond (just a half hour bus ride). It was only 9pm but it felt as if we were in some abandoned Hooverville or ghost town. Everything was closed. A few pedestrians here and there. The lights were dimming. "WTF" I thought to myself. I cannot just live by day! But we set out to find that perfect coffee shop which I can call home. Block after block we walked, and colder and windier it got. We passed by a couple of guys eating ice cream and of course I shouted "where did you get that ice cream!?" To which they replied and pointed right behind them "Joe's Ice Cream." .... yeah I do that sometimes. All in all we got some great ice cream and ended up sitting in a coffee shop I thought would be free of Russians but boy was I wrong. Everyone in that place had the typical Russian look on their face. The way they dressed, talked, gestured.... everything was pointing to "GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE" but we stayed because we had no where else to go. After about 20 minutes the place was dominated by a group of about 10 Russians and they were getting increasingly louder. I knew this would happen at some point of my life here in SF but I was not expecting this to happen so soon. I don't know if they knew of my native identity... sitting there with Luis attempting to talk about them in Spanish. We left, it was too loud in there. The end. The job hunt continues.

Currently listening to: Manu Chao

what i saw today

a dead bird. it was smashed flat on the ground and its species was actually difficult to decipher. it almost looked like when someone dies and the police comes to investigate and they draw that body with the arms and legs sticking out on the ground with chalk.

a hotel named "Nazareth"

a women probably in her 50s wearing all black leather and chains in a very promiscuous yet disturbing manner.

a church. but it reminded me of the movie "Contact" because it was very grotesque and modern looking.

a lot of homeless people who were busy talking to themselves.

an 11 year old boy talking very loud on his cell phone. at the end of his conversation he had a hard time putting the phone back inside his pants pocket.

a man. a Russian man who gave me a perverted look. i wanted to gag.

my new shades

I have missed the fog

Exploring by foot, my new favorite hobby.
Today I went out on the streets and spent about 2.5 hours just walking around, getting to know the neighborhood, and building some muscle in my legs. It was awesome. I am smashed on a street between Russian stores galore on Geary and Asian heaven on Clement. I walked by a coffee shop which had a HELP WANTED sign and in dire need of a job I walked in and inquired. The place was completely empty but I figured it wasn't rush hour for coffee in the afternoon on a Thursday. Right away the lady's eyes sparkled as soon as I mention the position and she started asking me questions:
When re you available?
Do you go to school?
Have you worked in a coffee shop before?
When can you start?
Can you come on Sunday fro training?
Where are you from?

That was easy, huh? Then I promised to come back and bring by my resume and she insisted that I take some coffee which she gave me. I am excited!
As my journey continues I managed to buy some fruits and vegetables, oh so cheap!! At the Asian market down the street. I also found a little piece of heaven at GORDOS TAQUERIA. How I miss Burritos.

So far I am enjoying my new location and my new roommates. House warming party coming up.

mejillones mejillones

last week, one of my last nights in Toulouse we are sitting around the table at the Spanish house on the other side of town by the train station looking at a deck of cards which very graphically displayed variouse transgendered people. We began to play a drinking game called Kings which was new to me. Actually, drinking games in general are new to me... not that I have never heard of them but I have rarely played them myself. Long story short, one of the rules of the game was that if you pick up a 9 of anything you may make up your own rule. So it was my turn and I picked up a 9, the first thing that I could think of was ..."alright guys, next time you have to drink, imitate the person sitting to your left" and here I was biting my own bullet. To my left was Xevy (pronounced Shevy) a tight jeans wearing Spaniard. This was the 2nd time I met him and we have only exchanged the traditional Bonjour and a kiss on each cheek. Knowing well that he is Spanish and having just come back from the wonderful country of Spain, I decided to just say something n Spanish and hope that works. I know now never to let myself make up any more rules. So every time I had to drink I would say "No me gusto mejillones!" (I do not like mussels) and everybody would laugh, especially Xevy, he found it very amusing. Maybe I did do a good job at imitationg him? Who knows. So on the night went and so did my little rule. Finally it was almost the end of the night and as we were getting ready to head for the clubs Xevy, with a smirk on his face says (and this was the most I have heard come out of him to that point)... "Vica... you know why I was smiling so much when you said 'no me gusto mejillones'?" And I nod no. "Well... its just that mejillones has 2 meaning in Spanish, one means the sea food and the other one...... the other one is, how do you say it......" and he had a hard time with this one. He fought long and hard with his English and then half laughingly spit out a "pussy!" A moment of silence, and everybody falls on the floor from laughter. Xevy admited that he just could not go all night without telling me, and I turned all red but almost died from the laughter and slight humiliation.
next time I drink it will be to mejillones.

take a long breath....

being on vacation makes me tired and lazy. i have returned from my crazy travels in europe and here I am in southern california once again. its good to not do anything once in a while. i do have stories from the past 3 weeks but some i am keeping to myself and some you all gotta call me and beg for me to tell you such fancy fables. its crazy how just a 10 hour flight home changes everything. as soon as i stepped foot in my house i already felt pressured. i felt as if something had to be done. I felt guilty about sleeping in, watching TV at 12pm and sitting on my butt eating ice cream. but then I took a look back at the time I spent with my friends in France and in Spain and suddenly all the guilty feelings dissapeared. Although I envy their lifestyle of waking up at 2 pm, having breakfast at 4 and doing completely nothing and working on my tan until 11pm dinner time and getting ready for the day to start, making all the necessary plans to meet up and hitting the bars... i realized that just because I am back home in the States I can still have that laid back attitude. I am going to use all the free vacation time I have before school starts to live the life I did in France. No more guilty feelings. this is my vacation, right?

An update on myself:
I smile regularly
I have dirty feet and it doesn't bother me
I stopped ironing my hair
Everyone says it looks nice curly
My calves have grew some muscles (all the walking in Barcelona paid off)
I listen to French music
I am in dire need of an iPod
I gotta go!!

I'll check back soon as soon as I am back in SF