missing mexico

i want to go back to mexico.... maybe when this is all over, this metropolitan life of mine, i will take a break, maybe learn some spanish, relax, enjoy the sand and the beach and the people....

this weekend was all about me. i rode my bike, stressed my muscles a bit, re-discovered my love for sutro baths, talked to strangers, bought a pair of new shoes, ate ice cream, found some old film in my pre-historic SLR and 1 hour later discovered some quircky photos of my family. i talked to my best friend, listen to simon and garfunkle and told myself to chill out. so now to ploughing through the 56 most commonly used vocabulary on the GRE, and I'll be hitting the library every day until i get it right.

taking a deep breath and hopefully will be in mexico this summer.

adios.

speechless

i used to be good with words, i used to yearn to share them with the world, now i avoid them.... tail between my legs and im feeling alone more than ever. hormonal and on the verge of a panic attack at any given moment. somehow i managed to push the people close to me to a dark corner, and soon they won't remember my name. or maybe this is part of becoming older, sifting through, changing, moving on... whatever it is it sucks a lot and i can't help but feel responsible, or irresponsible really. i don't recognize myself when i look in the mirror every day. i can't hear myself, i can't stand the thoughts going through my head, is anyone else annoyed with themselves or is it just me? i'm giving myself a time out. can time stop just for a few hours so i can figure my plan out before it all zooms by me? i should be in a better mood because i have an interview tomorrow and i have to practice my answers to all those lame questions we get asked each time....

looking forward to my wish list, whenever i can afford it.

scatterbrain

Its a new day. The past few weeks have been turbulent... again. ive been imagining wearing different hats and can't place my finger on a unique design of my own. it seems as though everyone around me has everything figured out, a plan of some sort or a direction. and i am yet again completely clueless about what i want. i don't even know what it is that i desire, what is my purpose, what do i crave?