lazy in a rut
so i have been back in lovely southern california for nearly 3 weeks now and because i am much too lazy to be creative or aww inspiring at the moment, i am just going to post an email that i wrote to Sandi today, which recaps exactly how i feel at the moment. oh and shout outs to people who
1. know a good place i can find a job
2. know any good books to read, ive got plenty of sunny days at the beach ahead of me
3. Sandi- hope you don't mind im making this public
SANDI!
i believe i was waiting for a weekend update! what the hell is going on over there?? your darling is doing ok.
im going through this phase of my life i am dubbing "what the hell am i doing, where am i going, why is time going so fast, wtf"
so i guess that kind of sums me up at the moment. i am trying to figure myself out i suppose, something ive always been doing and which i hope i never stop but im stumped at the moment. who am i at the moment? i always knew, and now im not so sure. a month ago i was a traveler, and now im a.... confused. i wish i was me 1 month ago and i am so torn from doing what i really desperately want to versus what i know i should be, or else time will catch up with me and i will be jobless and nothingness. so deep inside, actually on the surface too i wish i was traveling, with my backpack just go where the road takes me, and i know whats best for me is to figure out a career for myself, decide if grad school/law school/med school is the way, and clear my plate, decide on something and do it. but how can i when im so confused? ahh so im with my parents now, safe until my funds run out, and in search of a job. ive been looking for something that i love to do, whatever that is and i know that is like impossible for my first like real job back home, or ever really, something that i take seriously. oh sandi... i love the way i felt in Dublin, i love not knowing, i love an adventure and i feel that u felt the same way, i hope you did bc its a great feeling. is it possible for me to feel the same back home? so im on the job prowl and trying to really distinguish who i am, not by the job that i have but just by me, i feel like im back in high school again... thinking too much about myself. is it ok to be so selfish even still? i feel that the inquisitive little girl inside of me who cant stay in 1 place for too long will always be there. so thats me. im wrestless and impracticle, just thinking of places to visit, what new people i will meet, what rad new places i will see. so that is your darling. and how is my darling? I never asked you what ever happened to sharon? is she back at work? what is going on with all that drama, i feel like if im gone for more than 1 day from that lovely chair in the reception i miss out on sandi's life and i need to read a book to recap, so update! i do hope that you are doing well and i miss you so much! i swear i will be back once im some "business professional" and get a ride from all those hotties on their audi's. say hello to gary's mom for me.
miss you darling,
vica
1. know a good place i can find a job
2. know any good books to read, ive got plenty of sunny days at the beach ahead of me
3. Sandi- hope you don't mind im making this public
SANDI!
i believe i was waiting for a weekend update! what the hell is going on over there?? your darling is doing ok.
im going through this phase of my life i am dubbing "what the hell am i doing, where am i going, why is time going so fast, wtf"
so i guess that kind of sums me up at the moment. i am trying to figure myself out i suppose, something ive always been doing and which i hope i never stop but im stumped at the moment. who am i at the moment? i always knew, and now im not so sure. a month ago i was a traveler, and now im a.... confused. i wish i was me 1 month ago and i am so torn from doing what i really desperately want to versus what i know i should be, or else time will catch up with me and i will be jobless and nothingness. so deep inside, actually on the surface too i wish i was traveling, with my backpack just go where the road takes me, and i know whats best for me is to figure out a career for myself, decide if grad school/law school/med school is the way, and clear my plate, decide on something and do it. but how can i when im so confused? ahh so im with my parents now, safe until my funds run out, and in search of a job. ive been looking for something that i love to do, whatever that is and i know that is like impossible for my first like real job back home, or ever really, something that i take seriously. oh sandi... i love the way i felt in Dublin, i love not knowing, i love an adventure and i feel that u felt the same way, i hope you did bc its a great feeling. is it possible for me to feel the same back home? so im on the job prowl and trying to really distinguish who i am, not by the job that i have but just by me, i feel like im back in high school again... thinking too much about myself. is it ok to be so selfish even still? i feel that the inquisitive little girl inside of me who cant stay in 1 place for too long will always be there. so thats me. im wrestless and impracticle, just thinking of places to visit, what new people i will meet, what rad new places i will see. so that is your darling. and how is my darling? I never asked you what ever happened to sharon? is she back at work? what is going on with all that drama, i feel like if im gone for more than 1 day from that lovely chair in the reception i miss out on sandi's life and i need to read a book to recap, so update! i do hope that you are doing well and i miss you so much! i swear i will be back once im some "business professional" and get a ride from all those hotties on their audi's. say hello to gary's mom for me.
miss you darling,
vica
