something about nothing

One thing that I don't understand about life is that things perpetually change. Yes I understand that change is constant. I take it back. I do understand it, it bothers me somehow. I understand the changes in evolution, in the ozone layer, in bacteria. But one change i don't understand is the human mind. Why must we make so many decisions and end up forgetting where we started? Am I speaking for all of us, or just myself? Or is it age? Do we learn new things and change our minds whilst growing older. In a way it scares me. Something that made so much sense to me 4 years ago is either long forgotten or completely renovated. My mind is but a season changing. And somehow I still come back to the beginning. To think that I had it all figured out, where I'm going to live, who I'm going to marry, what color car I'd be driving. Or did I? I remember thinking that I had nothing figured out. Am I imagining things that never existed? And now its all changed. I prefer a bicycle anyway and the color doesn't matter. It doesn't bother me that my dreams have changed its meaning. I kind of like this game of pretend and then pretend again. So in the end, what will happen? What is the point of making plans and imagining myself in the future if I will change my mind over and over again? Or is it necessary to get to the next step? And what about my friends? And all the people in my life. Will they disappear? Will their plans perpetually change just as mine and one day we will long forget about each other? I hope not. Sometimes, its just so hard to spread a thought out on a page, it never quite comes out like intended.

Currently reading "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (amazing amazing amazing)